We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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