I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
