I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize