Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
