Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
