I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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