cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
