Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just gift wrapped bread.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
