I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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