I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
