I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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