yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
im on a boat
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