I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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