My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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