i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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