you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i think i have two assholes
My pussy is not your playground.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
