That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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