Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
