Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
