The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Found your dick twin last night
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
