I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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