the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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