I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize
