She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
not ubering you a puppy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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