He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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