It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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