He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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