I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
