Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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