I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
