forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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