Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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