Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
