If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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