u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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