No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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