you have to choose: penises or morals?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
