"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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