Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
