what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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