I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I came so hard my ears popped.
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