god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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