So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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