so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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