loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
