Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
