Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
