I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
