so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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