i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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