I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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