it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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