paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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